Member-only story
The Secret to a Happy Marriage
Stealth action on irresolvable issues might be it
I am an organizer and a thrower-outer. My husband is a pile-maker and a saver-in-case-you-might-need-it-somedayer. My favorite gizmo is my label maker. His is… something that is probably under a pile of things in a corner. Despite this, we have a happy marriage. (Because he is probably reading this: I love you, John!) Still, there is a gulf between us regarding the management of stuff. I can’t see how he could object to my neatly labeled, orderly array of things; my alphabetized spices; my photo-labeled clear shoe boxes; my colorized closet, but I suppose in a moment of weakness, he might dismiss me as being a bit anal. On the other hand, I despair at his mounds of junk.
Having spent the last seven years writing a book about libraries, I was made acutely aware of how critical organization is. If a book is shelved wrong in a library, it might as well be thrown away — in other words, if it can’t be found easily using the Dewey Decimal system, it’s as good as gone. When my husband wants to keep something in case he might someday have a use for it, but puts it in an undifferentiated mountain of other rainy-day items, it’s effectively useless because it would be unfindable if that rainy day ever happens to come. Imagine your computer without a search function and you get the picture…
